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Are you a robot?





Most of you who surf the net from time to time have encountered that irritating security feature of a bot box asking you to click confirming “I am NOT a robot”. And some of you may have been wondering why there is no box that allows you to answer “Heck yes, I am!” As you see above, the Spuzzum Institute has rectified this omission, because we believe in providing equal opportunities for everybody.

However, before you venture into the abyss of Artificial Intelligence, here’s a word of caution. Remember that the “security” question was placed there by a member of the AI society to draw humans into (at least a part of) the AI world, not necessarily to keep other bots at bay. If you were pretending to be a robot, might you be allowed access to some secret internet portal where robots from all over the world are plotting the “final solution” of the human race? With so many AI components gathered there, your disguise would soon be uncovered - could that possibly mean “goodbye Charlie”? But if you’re lucky, that AI portal is just a meeting place where a bundle of bots compare notes on what stupid actions they can get humans to carry out next in order to gain access to the latest TikTok video on dressing up your cat to look like the prime minister. Sounds absurd, you think? Well, it is not. For those on-line robots search the internet and collect data related to any imaginable topic and all these data scrapings are stored cross-indexed to be made available to any of us surfers at the mention of any one of an immeasurable number of key words. So when you happen to ask your chatbot how to clear snow off your windshield, you may find amongst the answers a terrorist inspired publication on how to work a flamethrower on a gas-doused vehicle. Not only have those bots stored up all kinds of unimportant information, they are also helpful in remembering your personal surfing history. So you can expect the flamethrower they presented yesterday, will be brought back to you today, just when you’re looking up how to bake an apple pie.

Although the AI concept has only come about in recent years in the wake of the internet and social media expansion, robotic-type creatures have been around for thousands of years. Greek mythology tells us about Prometheus, the god that was accredited with having brought a clay puppet to life by using the fire he had stolen from his boss Zeus (I wonder if Prometheus also invented the flamethrower?). I think we all know the story about the modern personification of Prometheus that first appeared in 1818 as that guy with a bolt in his neck, constructed by the crazy scientist Victor Frankenstein, who was apparently

trying to clone himself. The images conjured up by Shelly’s book and subsequent horror movie have become the ultimate reflection of what happens when we try to artificially establish a humanoid creature - Frankenstein’s creation developed into a monster which ended up killing its creator. Interesting that in the last year or so, hundreds of leading AI scientists, including Tesla’s Elon Musk and Google’s “AI godfather” Geoffrey Hinton, are turning back on their earlier work and start warning about the serious risks connected with expanding use of Artificial Intelligence. Are they becoming afraid of their own brainchild? Or are they becoming more aware of the havoc caused by the AI-driven social media? And social surveillance by China (and others) using AI for tracking people and facial recognition techniques. And the social manipulation we’ve seen with the 2022 Philippines and 2023 Taiwan elections, where the AI use for spreading misinformation and questionable propaganda created a nightmare, whereby it becomes impossible to tell the difference between true or fake news. What about the 2024 elections in Canada? Do you feel yet confused and intimidated?

The older ones amongst us have been confused ever since they first heard about AI, the acronym for Artificial Intelligence. Because for more than 60-70 years we accepted AI to stand for Artificial Insemination - a technique commonly used in cattle breeding. Perhaps the use of the same acronym is no coincidence, once you realize that we ourselves are being impregnated ......... by a robot.To stop any further confusion the Spuzzum Institute proposes an infinitesimal change in the acronyms - Artificial Insemination shall now be known as AIns, while Artificial Intelligence shall be referred to as AInt. A very small but very notable difference - for AIns has been getting rid of the bull, while AInt clearly ain’t!!

Frankenstein’s was a fictitious character - the first real robot (named Eric, seen

here with his “dad”) appeared in 1928, long before AInt. Together with his brother George he travelled all over the world to give people a preview of the future. True, those old bots had little or no sex appeal (even Frankenstein’s creation looked more human). Modern robots not only look but also behave more appealingly thanks to an AI technology that has itself (in accordance with standard AI terminology) evolved into “machine learning” and then into “deep learning”. Even if most of us do not understand those “neural networks”, we must not lose sight of the fact that this DLT (Deep Learning Technology) comes paired with DFO (Deep Fake Occurrence).

Robots are computer-generated artificial entities, with no feelings - but the scientists behind them have added a fake soul and gender to make them appear more human. Earlier robots were mostly of the male persuasion, but in recent years female versions have become more common. Their outward appearance is sculpted so beautiful and real life-like that many - and not just older - men succumb to the fake sex-appeal. Check out the photo at the beginning of this article under .1. Are you a robot? and guess wether this is a real young lady or a humanoid.

The most popular chatbots like Siri and Alexa are equiped with such a melodious voice that numerous guys are tempted to spend more time with them, even exchanging personal information, without realising these “ladies” are just like the sirens of Greek mythology, whose singing lured unsuspecting sailors closer to shore till their ship would get smashed on the rocks. The writings of Homer tell us that even Odysseus could only overcome the sirens’ temptation by having his crew’s ears filled with beeswax and having himself tied to the mast. Nowadays social media are the hunting ground of our modern sirens and mermaids, trying to lure you in to “socialize” with the rest of the world. Everything you put out there becomes “public” in the AI domain, and may come back to bite you in the butt when there is an “I’m-so-sorry-unfortunate” data breach (another AI lie). Feel free to use the internet to your advantage, but when you get tempted by the AI sirens to share any personal information, stop and heed the arresting warning from Miranda (she is a policewoman, not a chatbot) that

“Anything you say, may be used against you!”

Keep the wind in your sails and

the mermaids off your boat!


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